Analyze This

When I started this blog, I told myself (and probably you as well) I wasn’t going to be doing any kind of deep analysis of the game or its players. I lied, but only sort of.

True Grich proudly presents; this, that and some other things about the New York Yankees. You see, Rob Neyer has nothing on me.

Here we go…

First up, Johnny Damon. Johnny makes up for his lack of arm strength with his ability to grow a very thick beard. Problem is Johnny isn’t allowed to grow any of that in NY. In Boston they sell t-shirts that say: Johnny Damon - Looks like Jesus. Acts like Judas. Throws like Mary. Ouch. Johnny wants to stay in NY next year (he’s a free agent after the season). Come on Johnny; why not go back to Oakland where you played in 2001? After all, that worked out well for Jason Giambi. Oh wait…

Mark Teixeira is a good hitter, but he’s a terrible liar. Please don’t tell me it’s not about the money and then go and sign with the Yankees. Now, if you had told me you didn’t want to live in the same time zone as your agent Scott Boras, I might have believed you. Then again, I can’t be too angry with Mark – his leaving paved the way for Kendry Morales and gave the Angels the flexibility to sign Bobby Abreu. I love Bobby. Players flock to Bobby. Salesmen with visions of large commission checks flock to Tex. I’ll take Morales and Abreu over Tex any day.

By the way does Tex remind you of anyone?



I'm just saying...

Alex Rodriguez leads the league in one thing. Derogatory nicknames. A-Roid, A-Fraud, A-Choke. You name it, he’s been called it. Make no mistake about it, Alex is all about himself. One WBC he wants to play for Team USA. The next he wants to play for the Dominican Republic. One day Madonna is his soul mate. The next he’s kissy face with Kate Hudson. When he orchestrated his way out of Texas, he didn’t care if he went to Boston or New York. A-Fraud is as wishy washy as a politician. He might have a bright future in congress. He might represent New York one term and then Florida the next. He’ll probably switch parties every other election too.

In New York they like to cheer – Hip, Hip, Jorge. I’m here to Rip, Rip Jorge. Jorge Posada is a catcher in name only. He wears the gear, but he can’t do the job. He’d be the perfect spokesman for one of those Holiday Inn commercials. I can hear him now… “I’m not a catcher, but I slept at a Holiday Inn Express last night.” His arm is so weak; he couldn’t even throw out soon-to be 51 year old Mike Scioscia on the bases. He’s so bad; A.J. Burnett would rather have Jose Molina catch for him. Posada doesn’t like that much. Isn’t dissention in the Yankee club house a beautiful thing?

Then there’s C.C Sabathia. And I thought Bartolo Colon was big. Sabathia is listed at 6’7” and 290 lbs. Everything about him is big, including his ERA against the Angels this year, not to mention his career post season ERA. It’s clear Sabathia likes donuts, because he’s 0-2 this year against the Angels so far.

Cheater, Cheater Derek Jeter. Don’t you just love the way that rolls off your tongue? What can I possibly say about “Captain Clutch?” It’s going on nine years since Derek Jeter was clutch enough to carry his team to a World Series win. I think it’s to the point now where he’s better known for all the Hollywood starlets he’s had on his arm. I hear they’re lining up for him. Don’t worry ladies… I believe Jeter will be back on the dating scene some time next week when his season comes to an end.

Mariano Rivera. It’s really hard to rip this guy; after all, he’s the greatest closer in post-season history. Just ask the 2001 Arizona Diamondbacks.

Brian Cash-man. What a perfect name for a Yankee GM. He’s been quoted as saying - “I think they (Angels) look down on us.” Actually, Mr. Cashman, the Angels don’t look down or even back for that matter. They look ahead. It’s what you do when you’re pulling away from your opponent.

There you have it. It’s not comprehensive, but I think I’ve managed to hit all the low points. Peter Gammons, eat your heart out.

Extra Innings:

Happy Birthday to 514 Fanatic Lauren, who turned 40 yesterday!

Ringing in the ALCS

Okay, so the Angels just swept away one obnoxious fan base and what do you know? Here we go again to face another batch of the loud and the proud. Forgive me for painting these two fan bases with a broad brush. I know it’s not fair to the fans of those teams that actually can conduct themselves in a civil manner, but humor me anyway just so I can get through this post.

Get ready to hear the “got rings?” mantra over and over again. If they’re not saying it, they’re usually wearing it in the form of a t-shirt. My answer? No, I don’t have any “rings” and neither do you, unless you were actually employed by a team while they won a World Series.

What you Yankee fans do have is a boat load of memories and the experience of seeing your team win it all 26 times. We get it. We know all about your rich tradition. Albeit, you will have to go back a little further than us Angel fans to recall your last title. In fact, taking 2008 off from the play-offs probably made you more nostalgic than ever … until now.

And for the record Yankee fans – this is all about the “now.” So when the Angels put the beat down on the Yankees, please don’t ask me the "rings" question. Please don’t resort to that because you have nothing else to fire back at us Angel fans. That's as weak as Johnny Damon's arm. It’s 2009. It’s a new day and it’s all about the scoreboard. If you want to give us a history lesson, at least wait until our team has had their parade.

Am I predicting an Angels victory? Well, I’m actually really not here to do that. I’m just laying the ground work for a conversation we might be having sometime soon. And it goes both ways.

So, let’s set the ground rules now. Let’s talk about this season and this series. Let’s agree that the two best teams in the American League are about to get it on. Winner goes to the big party. Loser goes home. I don’t want to see you standing on the platform shouting out the “got rings?” question as our train pulls away from the depot. I’d just rather see you give us a simple wave and be on your way. If your team proves to better, I’ll do the same.

Let’s not rehash the past. We got plenty of that with the Red Sox and how… well, let’s not even go back there.

Every play-off series should be treated like a Heavyweight Title Fight. The winner is crowned champion. There’s no “look at all the other guys I’ve beaten.” Or even better, “got belts?” A boxer is only as good as his last fight. This should be the case for baseball teams as well. The only real fan base that has any bragging rights are Philadelphia Phillies fans and until their team is knocked out they should be the only ones doing any talking.

Look, I promise not to bring up any recent Angels/Yankees play-off history. What’s the point? It would be hypocritical of me to talk about the recent past, right? I’m glad we agree on the ground rules.

Now, there are some things I can not promise you. I may claim the devil wears pinstripes. I will probably let out an A-Roid chant now and then and throw in a Madonna joke or two. I’ll do a little cheater, cheater, Derek Jeter (just because it sounds good and he did cheat on his taxes). I may even refer to your team as the NY Mercenaries. I will definitely laugh when Jorge Posada tries to throw out Chone Figgins stealing a base. And all that’s just for starters. Just know it’s not personal. It’s part of the fun.

Is it Friday yet? Let the games begin.