How to Rant Like You Mean It

Maybe it’s just me (probably not), but after just two games – 2016 feels a lot like 2015.  I don’t know about you, but I didn’t care much for the 2015 baseball season and the idea of possibly reliving it again just doesn’t sound like much fun.

I know it’s early.  You don’t have to tell me it’s early.  I know what day it is.  Please don’t start.  And I don’t want to hear about patience.  My patience ran out a few years ago.  My expectations have even dwindled a bit.  No, let’s be honest – my expectations are in the toilet.  This isn’t fun.  It’s just not.  No, not even a little bit.  Losing sucks. 

It’s funny – every time I anticipate a game or a series where the Angels could really make a statement – they make the wrong kind of statement.  The first two games against the darlings of baseball, the supposed favorites to win it all and yadda, yadda, yadda – were just demoralizing.

Where do I begin?

First off – hats off to the Cubs.  They lived up to the hype in the first two games, but a word or two of advice.  Don’t start making plans for a parade.  I mean, hasn’t the last 100 years taught you Cub fans anything?  I know you think Joe Maddon is some kind of messiah, but until he actually wins it all – he’s just another manager in my book.  Then again, they'll probably make a movie about him

After all, they made a movie about Billy Beane specifically highlighting the year the Angels won the world series – so what do I know?  Call me a hater.  The shoe probably fits.

If I sound a little grumpy, I guess I’ll need to kick it up a notch because I’m a whole lot of grumpy.  Losing does that.  Losing by a combined score of 15-1 puts me at the troll-who-lives-under-a-bridge-kind-of-grumpy. 

My Dodger friends are loving this.  Hey, they need to have a little fun after not smelling a world series in 28 years.  They deserve to feel a little giddy.  Yay for them.  Rah, stinkin’ rah.  *Yawn.*

I hate it when the Angels fall below .500.  Whenever that happens I start to play that game… you know the game – how many wins in a row do they need to make it back to .500?  I hate that game.  Makes me crazy.

At this point the Angels are on pace to go 0-162.  They’re team ERA is on pace to be 7.50 for the year and they’ll score exactly 81 runs – which will all be driven in my Craig Gentry. 

Relax, I’m just messing around here.

I’m sure I’ll start to feel better the first time Mike Trout launches one into outer space and Huston Street comes in to slam the door shut. 

You might want to stay clear of me until then though.  Don’t worry – I’m not going to kick any puppies or anything.  I’m not that bad just yet.  

Check back with me in a week.  If I don’t post on this blog by then it will be a safe bet that I threw my keyboard against the wall and then for good measure took my monitor and tossed it into an eco-friendly recycle bin.