September 25, 2009

They're not so Athletic after all...

I hate the Oakland A's. I despise them. Yes, I even loath them.

Disclaimer: I realize that my hatred is not always rational and often times is based on my biased perception of how the A's do things and not necessarily how they actually do them. Whenever I rant about them, I might even exaggerate some things to make a point. Never-the-less, I am quite passionate about my utter disdain for them.

You see, I hate everything about the A's.

I hate their boring, stiff offense. They'd rather take a walk than hit their way on base (Go ahead, look at strike 3!). They don't appreciate the fundamentals of baseball and being aggressive on the bases is a sin to them (and no, Rajai Davis doesn't change things). They look down on the sacrifice bunt and their "hitters" refuse to expand their strike zone when they have runners in scoring position. Their mantra is "thou shalt not drive in a run with thy bat."

I believe their general manager is the most over-rated executive in baseball (maybe in all of the business world, for that matter) and it's appalling to me that Hollywood would even consider making a movie about Billy Beane. Word was Brad Pitt was going to play Beane. That's bad casting if you ask me. I think Jack Black would be a better choice.

I hate that the A's are touted as some sort of "small market" miracle, while a team like the Minnesota Twins has been largely ignored - even though they're more successful. The real miracle is that they haven't quite achieved Montreal Expo status just yet.

I hate their arm pit of a stadium. I hate that you could probably park the Queen Mary in foul territory there. Hmmm. No wonder they don't swing the bat much. They'd probably pop out in foul territory. I do find it oh-so-funny that the stadium was named after an anti-virus product (McAfee) - even though the place still looks like a germ infested play ground. They don't even have the good sense to get out of Oakland. I don't think they know the way to San Jose.

I hate A's fans. Well, maybe not all of them, but the ones that act like Moneyball Zealots/Billy Beane Wanna-Be's and think they're the be all to end all in fandom. They even have their own language... UZR anyone? Huh? Is that an assault rifle? I even hate the flag waving fans in their outfield seats (unless they're waving white ones). It's nothing personal. I haven't really met many in person, but I'm sure they kick their dogs and cheat on their taxes.

My hatred is deep rooted.

Disclaimer 2: Maybe my disdain has something to do with being at a game on July 4, 1971 when Vida Blue pitched a complete game to beat my Angels 2-1.

I hate that Carney Lansford began his career as an Angel and spent the majority of his productive years in Oakland. I hate that Joe Rudi had his best years in Oakland and then became an Angel. I hate that players like Jason Giambi, Johnny Damon, and Nick Swisher end up being Yankees. This goes way back for me. Even guys like Reggie Jackson, Rickey Henderson and Jim "Catfish" Hunter became Yankees. Let's face it, the Oakland A's serve as a farm team that feeds their players to other major league teams. I've heard that the A's fans favorite pastime these days is making up teams of former A's and realizing how good they could have been.

I really hate it when ex-Angels become A's. Orlando Cabrera - you're dead to me. While I'm happy that former Angel Adam Kennedy is having a nice season, I despise the fact that he's doing so in an A's uniform. I'll cut AK a little slack because without him there wouldn't have been 2002. Speaking of their uniforms - I hate them too. Didn't the Robinson family wear those in "Lost in Space?"

I do love it when the Angels beat them and especially when they finish higher than them in the American League West - which has been a great trend lately. Soon to be five titles in six years.

Speaking of which...

I really love the idea that the Angels will most likely clinch the American League West this weekend while playing the A's. I love it so much that I chose this time to launch this blog (True Grich) now.

I hate the A's and you should too! After all, what's a rivalry without a little hatred?

1 comment:

  1. AgreesThat Pitt Does Not Equal BeaneSeptember 26, 2010

    Hey man, I just read your Dear John note on the Yahoo! site, and then I had to read this. I'm an A's fan, but you crack me up!!! Thanks for Carney, and for honing Dave Henderson into a fine player (ahhh... 1986). Congratulations, we'll both be watching another team in the playoffs...woo-hoo!!! Cheers!!!