December 22, 2009

2010 Headlines

Even though 2009 is not quite over yet and there are bound to be a few headlines here and there, I thought it would be interesting to predict some headlines for the coming year.

Okay, some of these aren't likely, but use your imagination any way.

Milton Bradley is bound to dominate the headlines. Here are a couple you might be seeing next season:

Milton Bradley’s latest meltdown responsible for "global warming" in Pacific Northwest

Milton Bradley’s latest flare up makes Mt. St. Helen's eruption look like a burp

Milton Bradley traded to Japan where he won’t understand the reporters (or anyone else’s) questions or comments

The Dodgers will continue to make more news off the field than on it...

Dodgers announce peanut vendors being replaced by vending machines to save costs

Frank McCourt increases Dodger parking to $50 to pay for divorce

No team makes more headlines than the Yankees, right?

Mariano Rivera blows a save; hell freezes over

Yankees sign Lebron James; rent him to Knicks
(Because their payroll isn’t big enough)

Two of my favorite players to make fun of:

Johnny Damon quits baseball; signs on as new front man for the Rolling Stones (because after the Yankees rebuffed him, he couldn’t get any satisfaction and let's face it, there's no bigger rock star than Damon)

Jonathan Papelbon gets a tan; is dropped from lead role in "Casper the Friendly Ghost" movie.

A few others just because...

Mark Reynolds to fix national deficit, will donate $10 every time he strikes out to government in 2010

Royals double their payroll, trade entire team for Alex Rodriguez

Hundreds of cattle turn up missing after Prince Fielder gives up vegetarian diet

And since this is an Angels centric blog:

Angels continue to get older; sign Rickey Henderson to a three year deal
(Henderson is latest acquisition by Angels who are trying to replace Chone Figgins)

Last, but not least - this blog wouldn't be the same if I didn't poke fun at the Oakland A's:

New movie, “Moneyball” fails at the Box Office, Billy Beane claims high “butts in seats percentage” a victory; BISP is born

“Moneyball” fails at the Box Office; Billy Beane blames low budget marketing campaign

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